if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Swine flu is the new snow day.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
