can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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