I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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