he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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