He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
50% drunk capacity currently
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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