I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
