i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
