I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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