Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
