I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
my liver is dry heaving
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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