I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Come on in and take your pants off
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