We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
