IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
