at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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