can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize