I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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