good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
