At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
