their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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