the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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