So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
