I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
