it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
