Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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