I want to have your abortion
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.