And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
