I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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