How'd it feel making her break her religion?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
