He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
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