I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
