I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize