I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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