We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
