If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
