She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize