Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
