We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
