we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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