you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We have so much sex to catch up on
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
