I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
