Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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