There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
