Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
