Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
