if i can run in heels then i can drive
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
