i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
