physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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