I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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