he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ugly people sure do ruin things
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize