Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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