I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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