he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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