one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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