dude i'm inner monologue high
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
