I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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