Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
