So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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