Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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