Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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