im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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